Tyson "Dude, I don't have time, I'm a Manager at work" McCabe

2 Brits and a Gonzo
Tyson McCabe File:
Favorite Stance: Legs cross, back leaned against the wall, head tilted, cell phone out, reading text messages
Strengths: Chugging Bottles of liquor
Weaknesses: Chugging Bottles of liquor
One Night Cigarette Record: 2 packs, with each cig lighting the next, during a monologue of epic proportions at Sig Chi


Q: Be honest here, do you think you're now smarter because your girlfriend is so smart?
TM: Ha, ha ha. Ok. Good one. Did you get this question from Cory? Ok well, here’s the thing: Lauren, my level-nine girlfriend, is extremely smart. Not only is she smart in her studies/professional life, she is smart in her personal choices. I’m her first serious, adult boyfriend. So you connect the dots. Wait, sorry, connecting these dots may be too difficult for some of you (Will…Cannella). Yes, I know I’m smarter because my girlfriend is smarter. There’s a reason she chose me, right?
Q: Pet peeves?
Yes. I have several pet peeves. First of all, never, under any circumstances, put your feet on my furniture. I mean, do I come into your house and touch my feet to your pillow? No, I don’t. Who cares if I haven’t washed my sheets in 4 months. Your shoes touched the subway floor. Your shoes will not touch my couch.

Q: Katz and you have been roommates for 3 years, in those three years, how often have you imagined beating his ass?
Daily. At night, I think about it in ten minute intervals. I don’t know what I hate worse, his fucking pathetic morning routine or seeing his face on the couch after coming home from a hard day of work. Could you mention in this interview that I actually hold a manager position? Thanks

Q: Has it been tough you going through life with Devo? I mean he's just as tall, way more athletic, definitely better looking, probably smarter, and has shadowed you from school to college to the real world?
TM: It would have been tough if he weren't such a great guy. It's hard to get upset when someone is so kind to you. But you know what? I was pretty upset during basketball season at Union because Coach would always praise Devo and constantally yell at me and say I was as worthless as a sack of dog shit on the basketball court. But you didnt mention humor and that's what I have! I'm way funnier which should do well later in life!